use your own dirt

use your own dirt

There was once a conjurer who boasted that he had become god-like. One god happened to overhear, and challenged him to a contest.

“Can you do this?” the god asked, scooping up a handful of dirt and making it into a bird. They watched the bird fly away.

“Sure,” said the conjure-man, and reached down for a handful of raw material.

“Hey,” said god. “Use your own dirt.”

[found: Making Light: "Fanfic": force of nature]

civilization of absurdity

civilization of absurdity

“Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.”
~ H.L. Mencken

[via The Airport Security Follies - New York Times]

everyone is now dumber

everyone is now dumber

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

~ principal (played by James Downey) in Billy Madison, written by Tim Herlihy & Adam Sandler

[IMDB: Billy Madison (1995) - Memorable quotes]