the.fontgoddess quoteblog

review of Batman & Robin

fontgoddess — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 14:35:47 +0000

“I finally understand this movie. … [It's] the kind of thing that Ed Wood would have directed if someone had handed him umpty-million dollars and not applied any direct adult supervision.”
~ W. H. Jamison, Jr.

use your own dirt

fontgoddess — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 06:20:12 +0000

There was once a conjurer who boasted that he had become god-like. One god happened to overhear, and challenged him to a contest.

“Can you do this?” the god asked, scooping up a handful of dirt and making it into a bird. They watched the bird fly away.

“Sure,” said the conjure-man, and reached down for a handful of raw material.

“Hey,” said god. “Use your own dirt.”

[found: Making Light: "Fanfic": force of nature]

modern high-quality tech support

fontgoddess — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 20:05:44 +0000

“We all scratched our heads and glared threateningly at the machine for hours.”

~ John Charde

WHEEEEE! goes the economy

fontgoddess — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 01:59:12 +0000

“When we were waiting in line, did you notice the sign saying ‘You must be this fucked to get on this ride’? “
~ fengi

[/source]

proprioception

fontgoddess — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 05:42:59 +0000

proprioception
the sense of body position

[external formal definition: proprioception - Wiktionary]

explain

fontgoddess — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 01:22:18 +0000

“There’s nothing like trying to explain something to someone else to make you think about the subject seriously and thoroughly yourself.”
~ Melodie Neal

differences

fontgoddess — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 23:16:28 +0000

“Accept that other people see things differently to you, and have different requirements, and see what you can learn from those differences (actually, that may be the formula for world peace, so let’s just try a local implementation and see how we go).”
~ Melodie Neil

[/source]

civilization of absurdity

fontgoddess — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 20:59:33 +0000

“Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.”
~ H.L. Mencken

[via The Airport Security Follies - New York Times]

very tempting

fontgoddess — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 21:52:02 +0000

“Unless every other way we have to communicate has broken, I am not joining another Social Network.”

~ a friend of Alec Saunders

Floccinaucinihilipilification

fontgoddess — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 18:13:43 +0000

“I loved him for nothing so much as his flocci-nauci-nihili-pili-fication of money.”

~ William Shenstone

[from Wikipedia]

everyone is now dumber

fontgoddess — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 23:16:11 +0000

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

~ principal (played by James Downey) in Billy Madison, written by Tim Herlihy & Adam Sandler

[IMDB: Billy Madison (1995) - Memorable quotes]

clear vision

fontgoddess — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 23:21:45 +0000

“Hell begins on the day when God grants us a clear vision of all that we might have achieved, of all the gifts which we have wasted, of all that we might have done which we did not do.”
~ Gian Carlo Menotti

[found by Alice]

“I am done!”

fontgoddess — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 05:14:26 +0000

from 140story, a twitter project composed of 140 character, self-contained stories:

“I am done!” whistled the teapot in a proud childish squeal. “I’m done! I’m done! I am done!” it continued to scream like an obnoxious brat.

[found exactly here]

fontgoddess — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 20:08:30 +0000

diseuse

woman who recites dramatic monologues: a woman, usually an actor, who is an accomplished reciter of dramatic monologues. Such recitals, often accompanied by music, were once a popular theatrical entertainment.

one day

fontgoddess — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 04:48:04 +0000

“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.”
~ Ashleigh Brilliant

cultural content and profit

fontgoddess — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 21:41:06 +0000

“Cultural content has importance to society above and beyond its ability to generate a profit.”

~ Bjørn Erik Thon, Norwegian Consumer Ombudsman

not my body

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 23:44:04 +0000

“I am not my body. My body is nothing without me.”

~ Eleanor in Rock ‘n’ Roll by Tom Stoppard

news: new theory of everything

fontgoddess — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 06:56:06 +0000

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here’s Tom with the weather.”

~ Bill Hicks

Ten Reasons Gay Marriage Is Un-American

fontgoddess — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 23:16:58 +0000

Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

[/source]

the rules

fontgoddess — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 01:01:53 +0000

These are some of the guidelines the Budget Gallery operates under:

We use underutilized public spaces for our exhibitions.
If work doesn’t sell at the opening, it stays, in public, unguarded, for at least 1 week.
After the opening the unguarded work is sold on the honor system.
All art work in our shows will be sold, stolen*, or vandalized** and we can not pre-determine the outcome.
Our commission is arbitrary, optional, and determined by the artist.

*Having a work stolen is the highest honor of the Budget Gallery because it means someone wanted the work so badly they were willing to abandon personal and societal mores to acquire your piece of art. In our eyes, this may be considered a more valuable compliment to you than a simple monetary transaction.

**We suggest you consider vandalism a form a collaboration.

art for a few

fontgoddess — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 04:21:10 +0000

“I do not want art for a few any more than education for a few, or freedom for a few.”
~ William Morris

FTW

fontgoddess — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 04:39:41 +0000

FTW: For The Win

An enthusiastic emphasis to the end of a comment, message, or post. Sometimes genuine, but often sarcastic.

Originated from the game show Hollywood Squares where the result of the player’s response is expected to win the game.

[editor's comment: my minorly dyslexic mind connects this with WTF, so I always hear "f**k the what?" in my head when I see FTW.]

I am a little blue meanie

fontgoddess — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 03:59:44 +0000

“Funkety pouty pout-pout.”
~ Jen Wallace

design social activism

fontgoddess — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 16:45:20 +0000

“I’ve always thought that design can be a form of social activism.”
~ Don Meeker, an environmental graphic designer

it’s just a temp job

fontgoddess — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 04:54:00 +0000

“It’s a very uniting thing to see different people from the same generation working their 9-to-5 placeholder gigs, waiting for their real lives to begin.”
~ Joe Reid

stupid magic

fontgoddess — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 04:43:47 +0000

“I like David Blaine. It would be a very boring world if someone isn’t allowed to do something stupid every once in a while.”
~ Professor Jeremy Powell-Tuck

i love lamp

fontgoddess — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 05:35:30 +0000

I love lamp

Something that is said back to a person who just stated a non sequitur.
Person 1: Where do you want to eat tonight?
Person 2: The number one killer of domestic cats is feline AIDS.
Person 1:…I love lamp.

existential premise

fontgoddess — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 06:01:32 +0000

“I remember years ago reading a synopsis of the film Frozen Ghost, which was something like, ‘a hypnotist investigates a murder in a wax museum.’ You read that and think, ‘What good is a hypnotist in a wax museum?’ It seems an almost existential premise — no matter how good a hypnotist you are, youre not getting anywhere with a wax dummy, you know? Suddenly, it seems ripe with themes of powerlessness and tragedy — like a classic film noir dead end.”
~ Richard Sala

when said on myspace

fontgoddess — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 17:38:29 +0000

“. . . Anything you have to say will automatically sound 50 times stupider when said on myspace.”
~ Nicki
[source]

screwed

fontgoddess — Sat, 26 May 2007 05:21:44 +0000

“Oh, you didn’t hear?
“Sony manufactured all the screws for the PS3 out of iron forged from the rocks of Mt. Doom and cooled them in the underground lake they secretly discovered on Pluto. The threads are carved by a Japanese sword maker and the head is licked by angels until rounded.

“I don’t even want to get into how they made the case..”
~ k4p741nxkrunch

[source]

crying on myspace

fontgoddess — Sun, 20 May 2007 03:38:44 +0000

“what is it about myspace that makes people want to photograph themselves crying? is it tom?”
~ seth

[source]

ugly

fontgoddess — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 18:29:56 +0000

“Ugly when compared to pre-existing notions of taste is a bummer. But ugly as a representation of mass experimentation and learning is pretty damn cool.”
~ Ze Frank

[source | transcript]

faith

fontgoddess — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 00:11:40 +0000

“Faith is a torment. It is like loving someone who is out there in the darkness but never appears, no matter how loudly you call.”
~ Antonius Block

quote me (my sigs)

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:54:35 +0000

These are the quotes I’ve been collecting as Mail sigs. But, as I realized when my hard drive crashed, I need to have a backup somewhere. Welcome to somewhere.

lack of focus

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:24:41 +0000

“One person’s complete and utter lack of focus is another’s vibrant eclecticism.”
~ Jeremy Hedley

bizarre and inexplicable

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:23:21 +0000

“There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
~ Douglas Adams

materially and formally

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:22:26 +0000

“Though there may not be much of a difference between an Anselm Kiefer canvas and a dirty wall materially, addressing the distinction formally can be an enlightening cultural experience.”
~ M. Leary

[source]

don’t believe anything you read on the net

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:21:11 +0000

“Don’t believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose.”
~ Douglas Adams

collective hunch

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:18:44 +0000

“Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.”
~ Lily Tomlin

we elected them

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:17:27 +0000

“Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.”
~ Lily Tomlin

didn’t really say

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:12:12 +0000

“I didn’t really say everything I said.”
~ Yogi Berra

quote me

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:09:37 +0000

“I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.”
~ George Bernard Shaw

the perfect quote

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:08:42 +0000

“I never have found the perfect quote. At best I have been able to find a string of quotations which merely circle the ineffible idea I seek to express.”
~ Caldwell O’Keefe

some kind of dream

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:07:32 +0000

“He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”
~ Douglas Adams

on stage

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:07:01 +0000

“We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else.”
~ Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

long letter

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:06:38 +0000

“I have made this [letter] longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter.”
~ Blaise Pascal

cost of living

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:02:56 +0000

“Despite the cost of living, it remains popular.”
~ anonymous

comedy/tragedy

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:56:10 +0000

“Life is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.”
~ Horace Walpole

language

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:54:30 +0000

“Language is what we use to construct the world. Language is what we use to construct ourselves. Language is completely inadequate for both those tasks.”
~ Jacques Lacan

stories with no point

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:52:03 +0000

“I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.”
~ Calvin & Hobbes

Why me?

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:50:35 +0000

“Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, ‘Why me?’ Then a voice answers, ‘Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.’ “
~ Charlie Brown

weirdness

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:45:03 +0000

“If you couldn’t find any weirdness, maybe we’ll just have to make some!”
~ Calvin & Hobbes

reality

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:42:36 +0000

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
~ Albert Einstein

reality

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:41:51 +0000

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
~ Calvin & Hobbes

imagination vs. reality

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:40:40 +0000

“Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.”
~ Jules de Gaultier

hide your sources

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:39:34 +0000

“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”
~ Albert Einstein

creativity & art

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:36:04 +0000

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”
~ Scott Adams

press release

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:33:59 +0000

“Hi Mom! I’m making my own newspaper to report the events of our household.”
“That’s nice.”
“Now I’m looking for a page one lead story. Can I interview you?”
“Sure.”
“OK, what are you cutting up there for dinner?”
“Fish.”
“KNIFE WELDING MOTHER HACKS ICHTHYOIDS! GRIM MELEE IS EVENING RITUAL! SUBURBAN FAMILY DEVOURS VICTIM!”
“Out of the kitchen! OUT!”
~ from Calvin & Hobbes

unbalanced

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:33:47 +0000

“He was at least twice as unbalanced now, and quite liable to fall off whatever it is that well-balanced people are supposed to be balancing on.”
~ Douglas Adams

certain number of things

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:32:05 +0000

“God put me on earth to do a certain number of things. Right now I’m so far behind I’ll never die.”
~ Bill Waterson, Calvin & Hobbes

you’re only young once

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:31:39 +0000

“What the hell, he thought, you’re only young once, and threw himself out of the window. That would at least keep the element of surprise on his side.”
~ Douglas Adams

there was a point

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:30:38 +0000

“There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler’s mind.”
~ Douglas Adams

man and dolphins

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:29:36 +0000

“Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much… the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons.”
~ Douglas Adams

in the beginning

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:27:54 +0000

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
~ Douglas Adams

surreal day

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:16:10 +0000

“I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.”
~ from Calvin and Hobbes

another two minutes at college

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:13:47 +0000

“Every time you make a deposit, you can think, ‘Oh boy, another two minutes at college.’”
~ from Calvin & Hobbes

killing time

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:12:56 +0000

“I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
~ from Calvin & Hobbes

the secret to good self-esteem

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:08:49 +0000

“So.. the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?”
~ from Calvin & Hobbes

my tests

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:06:26 +0000

“I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers’ lounge.”
~ from Calvin & Hobbes

writing

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:05:38 +0000

“I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!”
~ from Calvin and Hobbes

Dadaist

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:04:40 +0000

“Thanks for the Dadaist pep talk, I feel much more abstract now.”
~ Buffy

internets

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:03:43 +0000

“I hear there’s rumors on the Internets”
~ President George W. Bush

“Internets? There’s more than one now. Where are these other Internets, are they cooler than this one?”
~ Hannah

3 o’clock in the morning

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:03:35 +0000

“Hello, Dad! It is now 3 o’clock in the morning. Do you know where I am?”
~ from Calvin & Hobbes

deadlines

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:02:46 +0000

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
~ Douglas Adams

when the going gets weird

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 04:02:15 +0000

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson

reality is a marvelous joke

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 03:53:51 +0000

“I believe reality is a marvelous joke staged for my edification and amusement, and everybody is working very hard to make me happy.”
~ Terence McKenna

transparent dreams

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 03:51:19 +0000

“Have you ever had a dream whose meaning was so transparent that you just hated your subconscious for not trying harder?”
~ Dorothy Gambrell

[said here. somewhere.]

entertainment vs. art

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 03:50:01 +0000

“Entertainment only seeks to placate the masses for the amount of time the entertainment is happening, whereas art seeks to exist and always be there for the troubled soul that needs it.”
~ Courtney Taylor-Taylor

never memorize

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 03:49:57 +0000

“Never memorize something that you can look up.”
~ Albert Einstein

Sturgeon’s Revelation

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 03:49:06 +0000

Sturgeon’s Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap.”

following dreams

fontgoddess — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 03:48:40 +0000

“You know, I’m sick of following my dreams . . . I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ‘em later.”
~ Mitch Hedberg

LibraryThing rocks my world

fontgoddess — Sun, 09 Oct 2005 15:49:44 +0000

LibraryThing